


Proprius Mutatio Femina

by slyfighter2011



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:05:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyfighter2011/pseuds/slyfighter2011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Proprius Mutatio Femina; Is a permanent spell leaving the man as a woman, it is a desired magic that is also very dark in taste. Every last bit of you becomes a woman. It was said that this magic was used by abused witches that would leave their husbands cursed as a female as well. </p>
<p>That isn't the case for our Harry. Harry is confused and lost and is not sure about himself. Ever since he defeated the dark lord in his fifth year he's been very confused and left wondering. Not by wondering if the Dark Lord is truly dead, but if he is truly suppose to a male. </p>
<p>The story begins where Harry finds the spell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He stared at the page before him in this Dark Arts book that he'd found in the Black Library over the summer. It wasn't as if he had gone looking for it. It was as if the book knew his darkest desire, was to be a girl.

 

Harry had always toyed with the idea of wondering what it would be like to be a female. He had always looked up to Hermione she was brilliant witch, powerful too for a muggleborn. He always watched her curves as she walked and admired her figure, as he did other girls as well.

 

Harry didn't know where the desire to become a woman had came from, for all he knew was that it had been lingering there all along. Just he was to frightened to do anything with a mad man after him. It had been over six months since the defeat of Voldemort and he had been hiding away in  Grimmauld Place .

 

It was because every time he set foot outside of it, he was mobbed by people and reporters. Harry also felt like letting Harry Potter disappear. The world no longer needed him, not in the way he thought they needed him. There were no threats, at least none that he was made aware of.

 

He was sixteen and had taken down Voldemort at fifteen and a half years old, at least so he thought at the Ministry of Magic. Even though he lost his godfather, he still had Lupin. But if he did this spell and made Harry disappear he would also lose everyone that he loved as Harry because they wouldn't know it was him.

 

Harry wanted to be someone that wasn't the boy who lived. How could he if that meant losing all his loved ones just to become someone new. He slumped back against the couch looking at the ceiling having already closed the book holding it against his chest. What was he going to do?

As much as he didn't want to be Harry Potter or the boy who lived. He didnt want to abandon his friends and family. He was at a cross path, either he could tell them all, and allow them to choose to stand by him or find a confident someone he could trust to tell and know they'd be at his side if he needed them.

 

It would mean he would need to tell three people, Ron, Hermione, and Remus. He could obliterate Ron should he react badly, but Harry hoped it would not come to it. Harry hoped that everyone would stand by him, but he knew that may not be true.

 

It was then that he heard the door knob turn. He hid the book under a pillow on the couch in the library. He sighed when it was just Remus walking in looking for him. Harry had paled, figuring this was a best time as any to say something to at least him. "There you are Harry, everyone's looking for you." He watched as the only father figure person he would know now sit down next to him. "Everything alright, Harry?" He nodded trying to find the courage to say what he needed but only paled further. "You look pale, that's why I asked?" Harry nodded again meaning that he was fine.

 

It was there that he just blurted it out. "Iwanttobeawoman." There he had said it, was it able to understand probably not. Remus looked at him confused, and unsure what was said, "Harry, that sounded like you want to be a woman?" Remus asked looking confused as he watched Harry blush under his gaze. "Harry, why?" Harry didn't trust his words, but why he didn't even understand it himself.

 

Why did he want to be a female besides the fact of running away from the boy who lived title? Harry didn't know, he just knew. Just felt this need inside of him to be a she instead of a he. "I-I truly don't know. I just know and feel like I should be a female instead of a male." He said staring down at his hands. "Would my parents be disappointed? You think?" Harry asked he had to ask because he'd never truly known about his parents.

 

Remus was shocked that was an understatement by what Harry had confessed, but he didn't love him any less than as he did as a boy. When Harry asked his other question, Remus didn't know how Lily and James react to their only son and the last heir to the Potter's fortune. "Harry, I believe Lily would love you no matter how you wanted to be. As for your father well it's easy to say he could be pigheaded. Even with that if it wasn't Lily that made him come around Im sure Sirius or myself would get him to see that you were still his child he raised, just a different gender." Remus watched as Harry relaxed but still rather nervous.

 

"What else is bothering you Harry?" There was so much, so very much. He was worried about Ron's reaction the most, but he knew that Hermione grew up in the muggle world. He also knew not many people were open minded about transgendered people male or female getting or having sex changes.

 

So really he didn't know how Hermione would react any better than what he did with Ron. He was worried about losing his best friends. The people that had stuck by him through everything so far. He was scared-no he was terrified that they wouldn't stick through it with him if he became a her.

 

"Ron and Hermione... If I tell them I'm worried about their reactions to the news, should I do it." Harry watched as Remus nodded, "I understand Harry, I felt the same when I tried to keep being a werewolf to myself from James and the others." He pulled Harry into a hug. "Everything will work out in the end." Harry nodded into the older mans chest.

 

"Come on, birthday boy! Everyone is waiting on us- you." He smiled, "Just find them and tell them. If you want me there for moral support I will be." Harry nodded with a light smile forming on his lips. "As I said every thing works out in the end." Pulling Harry out of the library and down stairs with everyone for his birthday party.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the first chapter was kinda crappy. I'm hoping that this will make up for it. Unbeta'd so if you see mistakes let me know lol

Today was his birthday, but he could not find anything special about it. They last living member of his family was gone, he didn’t consider the Dursley's his family. That was because they never wanted him there in the first place. He figured Dumbledore was sending them over the years to keep him there safe under their roof, but he wasn't safe under it like Dumbledore thought or just turned a blind eye too it.

 

When Remus and him was half way down the stairs that lead into the living room. Harry saw Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Ron and Hermione all standing around her at the bottom of the stairs singing Happy Birthday. He blushed embarrassed, and Remus patted him on his shoulder because he had stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking at his friends and to the woman who'd adopted him as her own.

 

He blow out the candles wishing for his friends to accept him for who he may become. Harry didn’t understand his own feelings about becoming a woman between wanting it and needing it. As much as he wanted to escape the reality of being the Boy-Who-Lived, it wasn't that he'd handled it this long and still could. What scared him was the needing it. He never understood the desire he felt towards the pull of being a woman. In that what was scaring him, he had more time to dwell on the things.

 

Thinking back on things he remembered when he was young at least five, he got into his aunts stuff such as her make up and things. Harry had made himself purdy, as he had called himself to his aunt to show her. But the shock of horror on her face was what stuck him. He'd been thrown into his cupboard for this for a week and without food, after that punishment he was beaten by Uncle Vernon within an inch of his life.

 

Gasping out of the memory he had someone shaking him asking if he was alright. Harry had nodded to them and got a pat on the back. "Thank you Mrs. Weasley, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble." He said thankfully to her with a light smile. Thinking on that memory he must of repressed after it happened, along with all the thoughts of having thought he was a girl with the long hair he'd sported for such a long time as a child. He always remembered that every time his Aunt went to cut his hair it was grown back by the next morning.

 

Harry looked up and said thank you for the cake and such. As he sat there eating it, he was just thinking about memories. Harry now wondered if Voldemort had released the repressed memories when he Imperius him in the Ministry last June. It was after that Harry defeated him, or at least that's what everyone thought. No one knew there were plans being made to bring him back one more.

 

It wasn't that long after eating cake did come opening presents. Hermoine had gotten the newest defense book, Ron and Ginny both got him a broom servicing kit, Mrs. Weaelsy made him his favorite treats, and Remus had given him a photo of Sirius, his dad, and himself when they'd been in school together.

 

It wasn't long after that did Professor Dumbledore pulled him off to the side to talk to him. "What did you want to speak to me able sir?" He asked curiously, it was before he saw Professor Snape sitting behind Dumbledore as he was led to have a seat. Harry watched Snape who was furrowing brow looking most unhappy about something.

 

"Professor Snape and I have discussed that even with the threat not looming over us any longer, We-" Was interrupted by a growl and a snarl from Snape one that sounded as much looked with much disapproval. "I believe that your study of Occlumency as well as Legilimency should continue." Harry was shocked that he'd ask such a thing since of how horribly it had gone the last time.

 

Harry looked at Dumbledore, "Like it keep the fake vision out of my head?" He glared angry that he would have to endure these lessons again. He felt the eyes of Snape on him. Harry could feel the glare piercing into him. "If you have listened boy! You would've learned it. If you wasn't a hopeless case." Snape glared between the two of them. At the headmaster because he was forcing him to endure Potter's presence more than he wanted, and at Potter for being a clueless dunderhead when it came to learning Occlumency. "And as it does not matter what happened between us Potter, even with the failed attempts to learn this. Our dear Headmaster wants us to continue it. Neither of us want too, best get over it." Snape said glaring at the both of them. Angry, was not the word for it. "Lessons will begin, next week." Severus said blandly as he stood looking towards the headmaster, "Good day." He said walking up the stairs to retire to the library in hopes to find some way of teaching Potter Occlumency. Which was a hopeless case.

 

Harry stood from his chair, "Sir? May I be excused? I need to talk to Ron and Hermione about something before they return to the burrow." Dumbledore nodded, "And I must be returning to Hogwarts, stuff to be done. Happy Birthday Mister Potter." Harry smiled lightly, "Thank you, sir." Nodding watching the man leave.

 

"Hey! Mate! Over here" Harry heard Ron calling for him with cake stuffed in his mouth. He heard a slap, which meant Hermione had hit him for talking with his mouth full again. As he walked closer, "What was that for!" Ron complained rubbing his sore head. "For talking with your mouth full AGAIN!" Hermione said taking a napkin to her face wiping the silva and bits of food on her off. "Sorry," Ron said swallowing and looking sheepishly at her. His cheeks were flushed a deep crimson.

 

Once Harry made it to where they were, he felt nervous. After everything Harry had been through. He was nervous, and with his friends no less. They people who stuck through everything with him. He'd not even felt this nervous last year when Cho and he kissed. It had been an experiment to see if he was gay, mostly. When he didn't get a bit turned on by it even with the tears she had been crying during it. Then the kiss he'd shared with Ginny the day before yesterday. Well it was easy enough to say that he was gay. But had no interest in a guy in boy form? He remembered thinking how beautiful the girls where from the Triwizard Tournament- Beauxbatons he remembered the girls looking like young goddess and wanting to look like that.

 

Harry thought that he'd repressed a lot of these feelings, of wanting to be a woman. Even though that dark magic book had flipped open to that spell just a few hours ago. Harry had not gone looking for it. Although he was lost in his thoughts he could hear Hermione calling at him, "Earth to Harry?" That was because he'd been standing behind the couch for the last five minutes.

 

Shaking his head, "Yeah, what?" Looking down at Hermione. "You've been standing there for the last five minutes not saying anything at all." She looked at him worried that something was wrong with her friend.

 

"Can we talk somewhere?" Harry asked casting eyes to the side. He didn't know really how to tell them. How do you tell your friends that you want to be more a woman than a man. The reason he wasn't saying anything now, was because Harry was most fearful of Ron's reaction. "Sure." They both said nodding as they stood still looking worried.

 

They followed Harry into the library none of them noticing Professor Snape in the room. Hermione and Ron watched Harry pull a book from under a pillow that was on one of the couches. Harry turned around looking sheepishly at his friends- his best friends.

 

"Please sit down." Harry knew that they were worry for him. He himself even felt a bit worried for him. Unsure of how this would go down, he looked down and away scared of their reaction. He had every right to be, muggles didn't think it was right for a man to change into a woman and the same for a woman wanting to be a man. Harry didn't know how it was here in the wizarding world.

 

He kind of expected a reaction from Hermione, where she was a muggleborn witch. Harry just didn't know how Ron would react he hoped that the boy had matured enough to not act poorly. Here it goes, "I'd like to be a woman." He was still very confused by his own mind that he wasn't sure that he wanted this. If he didn't do this he knew he'd likely regret it later on.

 

Harry felt his blood run cold when both his friends screamed " _ **WHAT**_!?" He felt his heart stop and jump into his throat he was unable to say anything but stare at the onslaught of things being said. " **That's that's just twisted, and just plain wrong.** " He heard Ron say. Hermione was next, **"You are a boy! It's just wrong."** Before he knew it he was reaching for his wand to wipe their memories. Harry was already crying, he didn't know how to feel. He felt so more confused by this.

 

Although before Harry could even raise his wand, Ron and Hermione looked at him and said "What was it you going to tell us?" Hermione asked curiously. It was then that Harry heard the silky voice of Severus Snape behind him. "Mister Potter here was more than likely going to tell you that his lessons of Occlumency was going to resume in a week." Harry nodded weakly wiping his eyes.

 

"Oh Harry. It's not his fault Sirus died." Harry rose an eyebrow at Hermione. “Whatever, Hermione." He shrugged. "What's wrong mate." Harry shook his head as if nothing was bothering him. "Could you guys go get Remus please." He barely spoke above a whisper. "Sure Harry." Hermione said looking suspicious of Harry. She knew that there was something missing but she wasn't able to gather what."Come on 'Minoe. I want some more cake." She nodded towards Ron walking from the room.

Harry turned around to face Snape, his face softening and looking much like his mother in Snape's eyes. "Thank you sir, but why?" Harry asked him curiously.

 

"Because Potter, no one should lose their best friends." He said walking back to where he'd been working. Harry could see a type of sadness inside of Snape's eyes when Snape said that it made Harry feel that Snape was almost human.

 

It was then that Harry turned to the sound of the door opened. It was Remus, the only person who was okay with what he now only thought about doing. "Harry, what's wrong?" Remus asked Harry pulling into a hug.

 

"Both Ron and Hermione both reacted horribly." He said burrowing his head into Remus' chest. He didn't want to talk about this now, not with it still so raw. "Then why did they seem so unaffected?" He heard Remus ask. "Snape he obliviatetheir memories before I could. I didn't even know he was in here." He said letting go of Remus and sitting down but not before grabbing the book he'd sat down.

 

Once it was opened it turned right to the page with the spell. "I want to do this. But I can't I have no plan for what happens to Harry." He sighed rubbing his hand over his face. "Yes you do Harry, you can be my niece as you already are my nephew." He looked at Remus. "What do we say about Harry then?" He asked, "Say he's studying aboard in America, where most of my family fled after the being of the war." Harry listened to Remus speak, trying wrap his head around him behind his niece from America.

 

It was then that was when Severus stepped back into the picture. "Potter if you're going to do this. You should do it after next week, so we have time to strengthen your shields, then after we meet in private after your sorting again." Severus said, it was then that Harry spook up. "Why are you helping me?" Harry had asked.

 

Severus had no reason to help Potter, so why was he doing it? He had no idea, "If this is something you wish Potter, you will need to hide it. From everyone, besides those who know." Severus said with a scowl on his face. Severus had seen much more of Lily in the recent years in Potter. While he looked like James Potter, he had Lily's compassion, and many other things of hers. He just refused to see it, to admit that his enemies son was also the son of his best friend. Severus never quit thinking of her as his best friend, even after what he'd called her. "You'll need a confident in your life at Hogwarts, boy. Lupin won't be there. You'll need someone to speak to that knows the secret." Harry listened to Snape speak a multitude of good reason.

 

"Anyways as I was saying before you interrupted me." Severus said, "Remus you need to sell this idea to Dumbledore about having your niece come from America as an exchange student. Say it'll be something of a life time, and say Harry will be safer over in America while they are trying to round up the death eaters that was caught at the Ministry." Remus nodded knowing that Severus wasn't a great spy for nothing.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a few days since his birthday party and he had been avoiding Ron and Hermione by hiding out in an alcove of the library that Hermione didn't know about. Harry sighed, why had they been so cruel about it, Harry could understand Hermione because she was from the muggle world. Ron he didn't know, maybe it was a prueblood thing. Either way Harry was upset and just was not ready to face his friends that didn't know because Snape had obiviated them. Harry was going to but he guessed he seen that he was just too upset to do it properly, but still didn't understand the full reason as to way he had done it. 

Sitting in the alcove where he'd been sitting more of the day hiding under the invisible cloak that once was his fathers. He was reading the book again with the spell in it, that would turn him into a female for good, forever. Harry felt that it would be a good change for him, but he could not come up with a name that he liked, nor had he asked what Remus nieces name maybe. Biting his lip, he heard someone calling out his name in the library it had caused him to hold his breath. Thinking that it may have been Hermione or Ron, or even better Ginny. The girls crush on him was sickening, coming from a girl that was and had been in love with him since before she truly met him. His skin shuttered at the thought of how many little girls had once thought of or had crushes on him. But that was also making him wondered how boy's would fair when they found out that he'd turned himself into a girl. 

It made him wonder if he would be hounded as in just wanting to have as 'arm candy' as it was called, because of his status. He already knew that there were people out there that only wanted to know him because of that status, and it made him wonder about Ginny and Ron as well as Hermione. Had someone promised them fame for befriending him? Or were they truly his friends like he hoped. If not it made his skin crawl at the thought of someone doing that, and the only person that could have done that was Dumbledore. Harry knew just how manipulative that man could be, he knew that those so called lemon drops were laced with calming potions, after having ate so many over the years and never tasting very lemony. It was just something that made you wonder, was all. 

His thoughts wondered away from him, wondering just how well Remus was fairing at Hogwarts with the Headmaster and pulling it off. 

-

As Remus walked up to the gates from Hogsmeade, it was a quiet walk where there were no students wandering back and forth from there and it usually was quiet in Hogsmeade when there was no students. It was a quiet little place with one of the best places to get chocolate that Remus was snacking on as he stood taking out a handkerchief to wipe the chocolate that had melted to his fingers. Remus felt that he needed something to calm his nerves for he was too go speak to the Headmaster, about his niece coming over from Salem Academy For Witchcraft and Wizardry. Which in reality it would be Harry, but the story was going to go till all the Death Eaters were caught, and for the school year Harry Potter would be in and exchange program. Remus had already planned ahead and spoke with Salem and they seemed alright with the idea, along with his 'family', and they were alright to house Harry for the school year. 

By this time Remus had already made it inside of Hogwarts, heading towards the Headmaster Office. Only thing was that he would have to guess the password, because he had forgotten to write ahead and let the Headmaster know he was coming to speak with him about something. Even though Remus could not be Harry's legal magical guardian, he could advocate for Harry. Remus really did believe that this would be best for Harry, even though Harry wasn't really leaving at all it was all just a ruse for now.   
“Cockroach clusters?” Nothing changed with the gargoyle. “Frozen Pops?” Nothing yet again. This was the annoying thing with the Headmaster it was always a game when called to the Headmaster usually. “Gummy Bears?” Once more there was nothing. “Wartheads?” It was some type of sour candy in the muggle world he didn't care for, but it seemed right up the Headmaster's alley because of all the lemon drops the man ate. “Finally.” He muttered when the watched the gargoyle moved, but as Remus walked up to the stairs to Albus' office who he seen coming out of his office straightening their clothes. It was Filius, and the smell of arousal was still high in the air, he fought the shudder that was trying to rock his body. The thought was odd, but to each their own. 

As Filius passed Remus he nodded and as did himself back to him. The thoughts that gathered in his mind was just odd, and he tried to shake them away the best he could and this was one of those times he got sad because this would've been on of those things he'd share with Sirius, but Sirius was no longer with them. Shaking all sad and awkward feelings away, he knocked on the office door of the headmaster's. Remus heard the call to come in, and he turned the knob to open the door, “May I offer you a lemon drop?” Remus shook his head, “No thank you sir.” Albus nodded as he straightened out his cloak before sitting behind his desk. 

“What can I do for you, Remus?” Albus asked, “Well sir, its about Harry.” Remus said, and the Headmaster seemed interested, “But what about Mr. Potter?” He asked Remus, “Well I thought, and had brought it up to him. Maybe about doing an exchange program with Harry at the helm of it, for maybe for his safety til the other Death Eater are caught.” Remus watched Albus think about it, “I've already spoke to the Headmistress there, and with my family that moved to the states. They had be happy to take Harry for the school year, as long as we take my niece as an exchange student.” Remus said handing everything over to the Headmaster that he had collected. 

He sat waiting on an answer from the Headmaster, he bit his lip. “Also think it may be something Harry needs also after loosing Sirius.” He added as well as he still waited. When the headmaster finally spoke, “And you've already spoken to Harry about this and agrees?” Remus nodded, “I think he'd be up for anything to try to stay out of the public eye, and in American Wizardrying World, they were much more lacks about the Dark Lord and him taking over the world and all. So Harry would not, and shouldn't have to worry about this celebrity status bothering him there.” Remus explained. “Let me thinkg about it, We have a week or so by this letter to decided.” Remus nodded, “I'll send you letter in a day or so, and I'll contact Salem with my decision as well.” Remus smiled brightly at the Headmaster. “Thank you, sir.” Albus nodded, “If there's anything else please feel free to discuss it.” Remus shook his head 'no' “I have nothing else to discuss with you, sir. If I may can I use the floo to go back to Grimmauld Place to inform Harry.” Albus nodded, “Although I think Severus left an hour ago to begin Mr. Potter's lesson, sit and have tea with an old man.” Remus nodded, “Alright sir.” Saying before sitting back down and watched as the Headmaster called a House elf for some tea and biscuits. 

–

It was only the first week of August, and there was two other weeks to go before the start of the school year. Although Severus was Hogwarts Potions Professor, he had to help Poppy restock her shelves for the upcoming year due to the demands of the students coming in sick, injuries from classroom work backfiring in the first years. Severus grumbled putting the potion that had to age a day before finishing which it was a burn cream. 

He placed the potion under a timer spell along with a prolonged stasis charm in cause he was not able to return in time for the next ingredient or just to be taken off the flame. It was time to head over to Grimmauld Place to meet with Potter over his Occlumens lesson. If what Potter wanted was to be a female he would need to master this, so he could go unseen by those like himself being a powerful with both types of study. It would be easier for Potter to master one before the other. Although Severus lack the confidence in Potter with either of them.

His mind still weighed heavily on why he had obliviate Weasley and The Know It All, maybe it was because of the reaction of Lily's when he called her the god awful name, Mudblood. He wish he could've taken it back, but again that's what Severus was use to pushing everyone he cared about away. It was just easier than getting hurt, and which he did get hurt in his own process. He lost the only person he called his friend just because of one awful name. Severus shook his head from the memory, he needed to get going. 

He floo'd into 12 Grimmauld Place, and walked towards the kitchen of Grimmauld Place because it was were most everyone could be found, mostly because of Mrs. Weasley's cooking. “Ah, Severus, sit sit. You must be hungry, far to thin. Sit, eat I'll make you a plate.” Molly said to him, not giving him any word edge wise. “I must decline, I'm here for Potter's lesson.” Severus was trying not to be rude nor cold like he normally could be. “Well, good luck finding him. I haven't seen him since before everyone else was up.” 'Ah, Potter was evading everyone.' Or at least Weasley and the Know It All, for after how they reacted to what he told them. “Thank you.” He nodded before leaving the kitchen. 

Potter seemed to be spending time up in the Black Library, so that might have been the best choice. He stalked up the stairs towards the Black Library. Severus cloak bellowing behind him as he walked down towards it, he slammed the door open and closed waking even the dead if anyone of that sort was there. “POTTER!” His voice carried over the library. “You better be in here. I will not hunt you down.” Harry stretched with books in hand, that of the one Severus gave him to read up on mediation techniques as well as Occlumency. “Alright, let's get this over with.” Sighing, Harry knew that this would not go over well, as it hadn't in the past. 

“Potter, put the books down.” Pointing to the table as he cast locking charms on the doors, watching as Potter put the books down. “Sit.” He pointed towards a seat, before walking over towards the one in front of Potter. “Wands, to the side where they can be seen.” Placing his on the table in front of Potter off to the side. “Why are we doing it like this?” Harry asked doing the same, “Because it went over so well last time.” Speaking with deep sarcasm that came from Severus. “I would like to hope that you can learn this, this time without the loom of a Dark Lord.” Snape spoke looking right at Potter from across the table. 

“Now I want you to close your eyes, and listen to nothing but my voice. We need you to place your focus else where than inside that idiotic head of yours.” Harry glared, but did was told to do he understood what Severus meant, because when the last time he 'tried' to learn this he didn't truly want to learn and his head was else were with it. He hoped that this would work this time, if he was to transform his body into a female one for permanent then he'd need something to cover up his past for as long as he could. “Soft even breathe Potter, there's no need to be huffy.” Severus knew how truly intimate a task learning Occlumency could be, and as happy that Albus had avoiding making it that way with him. Their intimacy of their lessons had been more of a father and son relationship, and he was thankful for that. He looked at Potter, who was far to trusting with his emotions. Just wearing it all out there where people could just toy with every one of them. 

“Hands on the table – palms up.” Harry confused by it did it anyways. It was then that he cracked his eyes open to see what was happening. He felt the coarse and callous fingertips of Snape's hands placed at either radial point on his wrists. “Slow your heart rate – your pulse, Potter. Keep your eyes closed, and listen to my voice.” These were simple tasks, but Potter's pulse was erratic and all over the place. After saying what Severus said, he felt a slowing in Potter's pulse. “Good, now clear the thoughts from your head. Place anything you don't want seen behind a wall, or door, or place it into a box. Ready?” Severus spoke never taking his fingertips from Potter's radial pulse point. “No, calm down Potter. I haven't even done anything, and your pulse and your breathing is spiking. You need to stay calm.” Trying to calm down, “It's not a race to be one, it shouldn't be easy to access any memory you don't want me to see, and with you wanting to be a woman you're going to have to fragment memories. Things like half truths and such. But if caught in a room with a powerful Occlumens like myself or the Headmaster. You may need to make up memories to be shown, like what the Dark Lord did to get you to come to the Department of Mysteries.” He felt a spike in Potter's pulse, “And when people bring up painful memories, they may find a weak point always keep calm even when you think its impossible.” Harry nodded. 

“Now, are you ready to try?” Harry nodded, but never felt Snape move his hand away from his wrists. What was Snape doing? It made Harry wonder, but he didn't open his eyes. He had Snape's voice going over and over in his head to try to stay calm and even breathing. It was then did Harry felt magic tingle over him and a pressure pushing onto the wall he'd created to try to keep whoever or whatever was trying to attack his mind. 

It was then that Severus saw, a memory of a young Potter the boy could not be much younger than four, but looked more like a two year old. “Boy! Get in here and fix my break--” Harry pushed the pressure out. Harry glared at Severus, and then looked away embarrassed. “Alright again Potter, you have to do better than that.” Harry nodded, he would get this. He had to get this, everything depended on it. Harry had few to little words on the matters of his so called home life. Even if you could call that place a home, thankfully he'll never have to live there again. 

 

Next Chapter: Lesson contuines and ends, with a very tiresome Harry and Remus returning to tell Harry the news. The week goes by and we get word from Dumbledore.

A/N I hope you all enjoy the length. I'll get a new chapter of We're What up as soon as I can, and maybe a rewrite on Hurt and Healing, and another chapther one Spy Me Love.

Hope everyone had enjoyable weekend.  
\- Sly

**Author's Note:**

> Proprius- permanent  
> Mutatio- transform  
> Femina- woman/female


End file.
